by Tracy Million Simmons
I was seven. My story, written on seven pages of Big Chief
Tablet, was taped to the center section of the coat closet for all the
students to see. It was there I first felt the thrill of an audience.
I wrote - filling notebooks with stories, filling diaries
locked with tiny golden keys with the words that were my life. From my
fingers flowed the words that my lips had trouble forming. My mind tumbled
with phrases and lines, desperate to find some order on paper.
In junior high I earned a place in the creative writing
journal. In high school I worked on the yearbook, becoming editor my
senior year. The written word became my friend. On paper, I was at home.
At the keyboard, my mind was free to roam.
Yet somehow, I was afraid to call myself a writer. I feared
rejection. I feared sharing this part of me - this part that felt so
deeply and truly me.
I compared myself to
other writers; the truly clever, the masters of grammar and punctuation
and the writers I most respected - those who dared to say it aloud,
"I am a writer. I write."
For a while I tried on other hats. Whatever I did, it seemed
my work always returned to words. And my personal life never strayed from
them. It was with pen and paper in hand that I sorted through my mind, my
life... I defined myself. Fingers flying at the keyboard, I found joy and
contentment.
Writing wasn't always easy. In fact, the more serious I
became - the more I began to view myself as a writer - the harder it was
to write. But it was work I continued to love. It was work that brought me
more satisfaction than any other work I had done.
I lived for the weeks of hope between submission and
rejection. I would write and submit for months. My steam would escape as I
waited for responses. I would stop writing until the words in my mind
became so crowded that I had to write some more.
Then, slowly, it began to happen - a twenty-four-dollar piece
here, an eighty-dollar piece there and a kind, personal comment from a big
market magazine. After years of writing, I was finally becoming a writer.
My first foray with self-publishing came in the form of a
personal journal on the web. Although journals were nothing new to me,
having an audience was. I began posting my words and thoughts on a regular
basis. My hit counter showed that people were reading and some of them
even responded with comments. The thrill of an audience, the excitement
that first stirred in me years ago with those Big Chief pages taped to a
wall, was giving a whole new meaning to my life as a writer.
Eventually, I found my way to paying markets on the web. I
have to admit to being a bit suspicious about pennies per view. I mean,
would a real writer give away their work?
What I found, however, was that the power in the process of
self-publishing on the web was not in the money - which eventually did
begin to add up - but in the audience.
Knowing my work is being read - by six for my review of an
obscure homeschooling book or by thirteen-hundred for my review of a
digital camera - just knowing it has been read makes me truly feel I am a
writer.
For the first time in a long life of writing, I am finding
myself unafraid to say it;
I am a writer. I write.
©2001 Tracy Million Simmons
This
is a story that will strike a chord with many, myself among them.
Excellent.
- Derek.Simmons January
13, 2001
Me,
too. You are inspirational, Tracy. I can't tell you that enough. Melissa
- Melissa McLoughlin January 14, 2001
Your
Mom would be so proud... her child is a writer as she always wished to be...
- Diane
Million January 14, 2001
Well
written. Thank you. Elaine A Schulte
- elaines44 January 14, 2001
From
the heart, Tracy! Even I can relate. Excellent! Linda
- Linda Simmons January 16, 2001
Great
job.
- laurie_dyer January 18, 2001
Way to
go! I like publishing on TS because of the reader feedback. It is
helping me to judge which subjects attract the most readers, and I am
gaining courage to branch out into other areas. I am so glad that you
are doing well and look forward to reading more of your work.-----Rachel
Stewart
- rachelbraden January 24, 2001
I can
relate! There's nothing quite like writing and being read. Great job.
Pam McInnis
- ladilestat February 1, 2001
I can
totally relate to this piece, Tracy. Our lives sound very similar. I won
the "Young Authors" contest when I was in the 2nd grade and
from that moment on I wanted to be a writer, but I never called myself
one. I have ventured down a lot of other career paths, briefly flirted
with law school and considered getting an MBA. My last job was for a
huge Fortune-500 company, working my way up to project management. The
birth of my son changed everything. "Stuck" at home with him,
I turned to what had been my true love all along. The
"pennies" from Themestream are adding up, and I am submitting
my work to other places now too. The response from readers has been
wonderful. Continued good luck to you in pursuit of your passion. I will
continue to support you. -- Jennifer Spieler
- jenzie23 February 7, 2001
Really
appreciated your article---from one writer to another---it spoke to the
heart. I also tried other hats and I have come back to writing time and
time again. I may/may not make a big impact but I am fulfilling what God
intended me to do and, since he asks us to be faithful, not successful
(words of Mother Teresa), I do so without any regrets. I recently read
that we have to think of ourselves as writers before we can be one. Your
article was very inspiring. Happy writing, Cay
- Cay Gibson February 11, 2001
You are
a writer. You win. Congratulations on your Themestream prize.
- Edmund Conti March 9, 2001
You
write, therefore you win. Congrats!
- Linda Goin March 9, 2001
Congratulations
on your win!
- Sue Turner March 10, 2001
I
totally agree , if we're read, we're truly a writer.
- Pam Potter March 12, 2001
Hey
congrats, join Linda and myself for a drink.
- Mike Huggins March 12, 2001
may the
glow of the prize inspire you further...nice piece.
- Jeannette Riess March 14, 2001
Congratulations.
And you expressed my own feelings about being a writer so very well.
- Daphne Wilson March 14, 2001
Very
true and congratulations on your win. Anyone who writes with a passion
is a writer.
- Jan Andersen March 15, 2001
Very
eloquently written. Thank you.
- Anne Keckler March 15, 2001
well
done . congratulations
- Marilyn Atherley March 15, 2001
Wow,
this is a remarkably inspiring piece of work. As I flounder between a
corporate world and a creative one, I wonder what to call myself. I have
decided on Writer, and I am thrilled to hear your words.
- Mekado Murphy March 15, 2001
Inspirational
article. Thanks.
- Bethanny Davis March 15, 2001
Congratulations
on winning. I love your article and agree having readers is the biggest
thrill.
- Rose Moss March 15, 2001
Brought
images to my of what a statue of "The Writer" might look like
and I thank you for the visuals and the thoughts.
- Nancy Masocco March 15, 2001
...to
MY WHAT??? brought images to my mind. Thank you Freud,...so much for
proof reading `=o)
- Nancy Masocco March 15, 2001
Very
nice article and very well written.
- Maria Carey March 16, 2001
Wow,
this article was REALLY well written. I think you've discovered it, what
meaningful work really is. When you're making your living doing
something because you love to... when you'd do it even if you didn't
have to in order to make a living... when you NEED it... that's what
it's all about. Now, if only I could figure out what could work for me
this way... other than talking to people, connecting, thinking... hmm..
well, great article anyway. It really articulated things well.
- Amanda Calder March 17, 2001
I know
how you feel. When someone asks me what I do, my answer is often: On a
good day I'm a writer, on a bad day I'm unemployed.
- Harriet Cooper March 18, 2001
Excellent
and inspirational. It's all the effort and the dream. You provoke me to
action and memories. Thanks.
- Eric Bennett March 23, 2001
Enjoyed
this article!
- Jan Green March 26, 2001
It is a
wonderful gift and I am glad you revel in it!
- Betty Eskdale March 26, 2001
This is
my story as well, except I chose to be a professional journalist. But
when I didn't have writing jobs (like now) I work as an
editor/proofreader or whatever......but now, thanks to Themestream, I
will also WRITE and equally important, SUBMIT articles once again.
sandi
- SANDI NEWMARK March 31, 2001
I wish
I had stayed with it when I was younger too, but I was easily
discouraged. I am now also writing, but have yet to be paid for it.
- Judy Fulton April 1, 2001
Great!
- Debbie Kozlovich April 3, 2001
You've
written a very wonderful account of your writing Journey. Thank you.
- D.L. Baker April 4, 2001
All
right!! I used to write on a Big Chief tablet too, with one of those big
fat pencils. I started grand novels about families with 10 kids, but
never finished any of them. Still the same now - so easy to start, so
hard to finish. :D
- Delan McLoren April 6, 2001
Here is
my two cents...great article ...gosh I remember those tablets!!! As a
matter of fact I purchase old school supplies and books from flea
markets for my "collection".
Thanks...for the memories... most of the paper from the Big Chiefs
didn't hold up though... yellowed, crumpled and "died", along
with some of my best illustrated works!
- Deborah Russell April 11, 2001