I could wrap myself up for you with tidy labels. I could sort and categorize my guiding principles; religion, politics, socio-economic theories, sexual orientation, educational philosophy…
If I told you, for instance, that I was a feminist, that I believed in equality unequivocally, would you begin to form a picture? Now what if I told you that I’ve spent the last seven years calling myself a stay-at-home mother? I could tell you how I spent six and a half years of the last decade with a child in my belly or at the breast. I could tell you about three natural birthing experiences; no drugs, no hospital stays, and, in two of three cases, not even a doctor present. We could talk about the family bed. We could talk about unschooling.
What if I told you that I was raised in the Lutheran church? Nearly everyone has a picture for Lutherans, right? But what would you think when you learned that I don’t go to church, haven’t baptized my children, and don’t pray to an almighty God somewhere up there in the heavens above us? We could talk about the life force that I believe exists in each of us. I could tell you what I believe about the nature of good and the nature of evil.
What if I told you that, when I vote strict party lines, I vote Libertarian? And what if I then said that politics were hopeless, but voting remains a crucial act of participation? I could admit that I only support local charities, and that, even then, I tend to be stingy. We could talk about my view that there is no point in saving the rainforest if you aren’t willing to clean up your own back yard.
I could tell you that I don’t much care what kind of car I drive, but that it’s important that I have a nice computer. I don’t wear makeup, but I shave my legs and armpits. My children do not go to school, but my husband does. I could tell you about my degree in psychology, and then discuss with you the hundreds of reasons why I believe psychology is bullshit.
I could tell you that I’ve spent my entire adult life in a monogamous relationship with a man I consider a soul mate. I could also tell you that I don’t really believe in soul mates, that where there is one right person, there are probably many. We could talk about the choices I’ve made. We could also talk about my bell-curve theory of sexual preference.
Would that make you understand me? Or would that simply make you want to run away?
If there is one common theme that drives my day-to-day interactions, it is this: It’s not enough to simply know what labels a person carries. Knowing a person takes an open mind. Understanding where someone is coming from takes time.
I believe we should open our minds. I believe we should take the time. I believe that there is someone worth knowing beneath every label.
©2004 Tracy Million Simmons - Written for "The Quest" Online Writing Challenge.